Watching Someone Die
Maybe 12 hours ago, I watched someone die. Pardon me if this is a little disjointed.
I had never seen Ghost before and, indeed, not even heard more than a few moments of their music. But a friend of a friend had someone drop out and a free ticket appeared. So I went. Pabst Theater. Milwaukee. It’s a beautiful venue. I had been there before. Seen Penn and Teller. It was a little warm and humid, but I’ve been in worse shows. I’ve been in shows where the columns of the building were wet with condensation. But I was in the seat section, with plenty of room around me. There was not assigned seats.
Ghost put on an amazing show, that I can say. The music was better live than almost every live band I’ve ever seen. And the spectacle and fun and theater of the whole event was amazing and I was excited for the rest of the show.
There was no opener, so the band took an intermission. The house lights came on and there was the usual dispersal of the crowd toward the bathrooms. I stayed near my seat, a dozen or so rows back from the orchestra pit, where there was a bit of commotion but I didn’t see anything specific. I started texting friends. You know, intermission stuff.
In the pit there was security standing around someone. Probably someone passed out, right? Right.
I’ve been to my share of shows. I’ve seen all sorts of music live. From Tori Amos to Napalm Death, who knows what might happen on a given night? Someone passing out sucks, for sure. But it’s not unheard of. And it was hot, so, yeah; that kind of shit happens. Get the person some water, a cold compress, and keep on going.
But, not tonight.
There was no announcement, but someone in the pit posted that security yelled at them to clear the pit.
I was there trying to help him before security came over. He was semi conscious, and then he stopped breathing. I couldn’t find a pulse. That’s when security started CPR. I think I’m one of the last people he saw.
Redditor Ser_Laughing_Tree (Post)
I didn’t see that. Someone else said:
I was right by the guy, […]. That should not have been that sloppy. They put an oxygen mask over the mouth of a man who wasnt [sic] breathing and they were not doing compressions on. And of course an oxygen mask does nothing if you aren’t breathing.
Sam Grieger (Facebook Post)
The next thing I heard was, “Clear the aisles” in panicked voices.
I was already at the end of the row of seats, so I just kind of stood as people moved over near me and I tried to make a little more room. There was already a slew of people standing around one spot in the pit.
They cleared out the orchestra pit of people. But the pit was packed tight (I saw a post claiming 800, which doesn’t seem right). I don’t know how many people were in there. It took a few moments to clear out people to allow free movement.
That was when you could see the shadow of someone doing chest compressions on a very limp body. As people shuffled around I could see it was a security person or someone in uniform.
I could tell the person was a man (I presume).
Someone used a defibrillator. Which, of course, if you know enough to know anything about them then you know that they are very unlikely to work for anything other than a specific condition.
Nothing is working. This is obviously bad.
Various posts on the Facebook event page seemed to confirm that a few nurses that were at the show offered to help but were moved away by security per “policy.”
Let me soap-box here for a minute: Fuck this policy.
OK.
They continued doing chest compressions. For a long time. Maybe 20 minutes before the cops and EMT arrived, who then continued. The EMTs, I am sure, did all they could. A bag of fluids. The whole deal. But why did the EMTs take so long to come? I do not know. Did the staff at Pabst drop the ball (they seemed utterly disorganized to me), but I do not have facts.
They do compressions for a long time. I do not know how long.
I get this feeling. “That dude’s dead.”
I don’t know how I feel it but I just do. Chest compressions are not effective past a point and we are well beyond that. But I had nothing specific in my mind or insight or anything; I just felt it. As a materialist, I tend to think it was just coincidental and confirmation bias. But it still was fucking weird to just know that.
An obviously distressed voice came through the speakers. Roughly, they said, “There has been a tragic medical event tonight. Ghost and the venue have decided to stop the show. Please leave the theater.”
I could hear the fear in this announcers voice. They were obviously shaken up.
The guys’ friends, too. They were crying.
There is a mix of disappointment and sadness in the air. But someone yells, “Fucking shit [unintelligible angry stuff]” and storms off.
The more I think about that the more angry I get but also the more understanding I get. I feel mad at myself that I am disappointed the show did not go on. But also: a dude died, man.
The theater is full. Full. This is a sold out show and the Pabst staff obviously are not trained well for this kind of event. I have to wait where I am for the mass of people that were all around me to get out.
I see the EMTs load him on the stretcher. Wheel him out.
According to the county medical examiner, the man was taken to a hospital where he was pronounced dead (cite).
It’s now about 13 hours since I watched a man die. It never gets easier for me. I am processing this. That’s why I am writing this. I’ve seen or been around the bodies of recently deceased people more times than I would like to remember. Friends. Family. Strangers. Doesn’t matter. It’s still fucked up.
An acquaintance of mine apparently was also near him. They are also feeling this hard. But we will move on, I know. It is inevitable.
People on forums are arguing about reimbursement for tickets, if the show should have continued, and so on and I suppose that’s all stuff that needs to be taken care of.
Just. It’s fucked up, you know. He went to a concert and never came home. Through no act of malice (though perhaps incompetence), that was the last thing he did.
And people were angry about it. Not only in the venue. On the street. “And the guy had to go and die,” I heard. There was no sarcasm or irony in the voice. Just angry.
People react to death any number of ways, I guess. I just hope it events out eventually. And I am thinking about the man’s family and friends, especially those that also witnessed it.
I hope the best for them.
I really do.
