Trump Rolls Back ‘Smart’ Statement
President Donald Trump was forced to walk back statements he made earlier this week describing a woman as “smart” and that she had a “good idea.”
Unnamed sources in the White House said, “The president knows he [EXPLETIVE]ed up and he intends to never let it happen again.”
The uncharacteristically kind statement comes weeks after Trump said “Excuse me,” to an unnamed foreign leader before speaking at a dinner. In the hours that followed, his critics lashed out at the comments, calling him “Unstable.”
“Yet, even though we are concerned,” Speaker Nancy Pelosi (D-CA), “We are concerned that the president’s mood is unstable. We can not let this possible instability threaten the United States. Therefore, rather than impeach, we need to delay any judgement and continue investigations until it is far too close to the election.”
In a statement from the White House, spokesperson Joseph King wrote, “President Trump regrets being kind to someone surely beneath his station in the world. The president wished to extend the words, ‘Fuck You, Asshole.’ to the individual in question. And that she is not smart, she is, in fact, unattractive. Which, as every American knows, is a devastating blow.”
Some individuals are convinced that Trump is really the not nice person he pretends to be. Former critic and now lapdog of Trump, Lindsay Graham (R-SC). “He once told me to my face that he thought I was a sniveling coward. I had to agree with him because he was standing over me and was standing on my hands. That’s what the voters in South Carolina want; a coward who will capitulate and sell out any and all principles in the pursuit of another term for this man who just wants to make people cry.” The senator continued, “He’s a real tough son-of-a-gun. And we like guns. We’re Republicans. The Democrats want to take away your son-of-a-gun and replace it with a sun for solar power. How absurd. The sun is made from the souls of aborted babies that Planned Parenthood sold to NASA.”
Trumps supporters are undeterred, however. Iowa voter Francis Hogie said, “However President Trump wants to talk about his wife is fine by me.”
